One Frum Double Entendre Deserves Others

From DailyHalacha.com:

The Gemara in Masechet Keritut establishes that “Simana Milta,” meaning, the things we do as a promising “Siman” (“sign” or “omen”) on Rosh Hashanah are significant and have an impact upon the coming year.

Therefore, one should not treat lightly the custom to partake of certain foods on the night of Rosh Hashanah as a good Siman, such as gourd, apples, pomegranates, and so on. If a person does not enjoy one of these foods, it suffices for him to simply point to the food and recite the “Yehi Ratzon” prayer. It should also be noted that one may come up with his own ideas for foods as Simanim. For example, it is told that somebody would eat on Rosh Hashanah a combination of lettuce, raisins and celery, and declare, “Let us have a raise-in-salary.”…

In the spirit of the moment, and with a large dose of early Purimkeit added, here are simanim suggestions for certain Orthodox rabbinic types. You’ll have to figure out what they mean on your own:

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Lettuce

Lettuce-2

Lettuce-1

300Px-Us $50 Obverse

  • Heaps of lettuce surrounded by pictures of Benjamin Franklin and President Grant.

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  • Several of these cards taken from Monopoly games and placed on a silver platter with attorney Nathan Lewin’s home telephone number.

Barney

Knife-1

Rabbi Elyashiv Shtender Copy

Id Bracelet 300

  • A Barney doll with a large hunting knife inserted through it’s chest, surrounded by pictures of gedolim and ID bracelets.

Pickles

  • Heaps of Baby Kosher Dill Pickles. Remember, as long as the pickles are sucked, licked or otherwise fondled, the siman will work. But whatever you do, remember – do not swallow!
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3 Comments

Filed under PARODY & SATIRE, Religion

3 responses to “One Frum Double Entendre Deserves Others

  1. J.Nagourney

    Pathetic and vulgar.
    Feh!
    I thought better of you, guess I was wrong

  2. Zayin Gadol

    I will have a carrot for man vitality and a soft taco with honey inside for my wife vitality

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