They Ain’t Makin’ Jews Like Jesus Anymore

Kinky Jesse

Kinky Friedman at left with cigar. Former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura at right with what appears to be an Iron Cross and a samurai goatee.

The AP reports:

With political soul mate [former professional wrestler and Minnesota governor] Jesse Ventura in tow, Texas gubernatorial candidate Kinky Friedman is telling college audiences that he has no reason to apologize for his race-related remarks.

“Anyone who knows me knows I’m not a racist,” Friedman said Monday at the University of Texas at San Antonio. “Far from it.”

Kinky

Last week, the Texas NAACP president and a black legislator criticized Friedman for a joke he told in a 1980 comedy club appearance in which he used the n-word about blacks. He also has come under fire for a race-related remark he made in a television interview last year and for other comments about Hurricane Katrina evacuees and ethnic groups.

“Humor is the weapon I use, humor to attack bigotry,” said Friedman, who with Ventura is making a campaign swing this week through several Texas colleges and universities.

Ventura, whose surprising 1998 victory as a third-party candidate in the Minnesota governor’s race is serving as a model for Friedman’s effort, was welcomed to Texas on Monday by an attack from incumbent Republican Gov. Rick Perry’s campaign. In a statement, Perry’s campaign cited remarks in a 1999 Playboy Magazine interview in which Ventura was said to have called organized religion “a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers.”

Kinky (whose answering machine message used to say, “Hi! This is Richard Kinky “Big Dick” Friedman. I’m off the ranch right now. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you,” and he did–in my case, calling me in Jerusalem and refusing to allow me to pay for the call) is a very good guy. Can he serve as governor? Sure. He’ll certainly do a much better job than Jesse did in Minnesota. And he’s a much nicer person than Jesse, as well, even if Jesse’s remark on religion is pretty close to spot on, at least for many people. As pointed out to me by my friend Sheyna Mechaberet, few adherents of major religions are actively searching for truth or actively evaluating their beliefs. It’s much more about community than ideas or truth.

What was, for a time, the JDL’s unofficial theme song, Kinky Friedman’s Ain’t Makin’ Jews Like Jesus Anymore:

Well, a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was a-guzzlin lone star beer

Talking religion and-uh politics for all the world to hear.

they oughta send you back to russia, boy, or new york city one

You just want to doodle a christian girl and you killed gods only son.

I said, has it occurred to you, you nerd, that thats not very nice,

We jews believe it was santa claus that killed jesus christ.

you know, you dont look jewish, he said, near as I could figger

I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country nigger.

No, they aint makin jews like jesus anymore,

They dont turn the other cheek the way they done before.

He started in to shoutin and a-spittin on the floor,

lord, they aint makin jews like jesus anymore.

He says, i aint a racist but aristitle onassis is one greek we dont need

And them niggers, jews and sigma nus, all they ever do is breed.

And wops n micks n slopes n spics n spooks are on my list

And theres one little hebe from the heart of texas is there anyone I missed ?

Well, I hits him with everything I had right square between the eyes.

I says, Im gonna gitcha, you son of a bitch ya, for spoutin that pack of lies.

If theres one thing I cant abide, its an ethnocentric racist;

Now you take back that thing you said bout aristitle onassis.

No, they aint makin jews like jesus anymore,

We dont turn the other cheek the way we done before.

You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor

lord, they sho aint makin jews like jesus anymore!

All right!

No, they aint makin jews like jesus anymore,

We dont turn the other cheek the way they done before.

You hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor

Lord, they aint makin jews like jesus anymore.

Everybody!

They aint makin jews like jesus anymore,

They aint makin carpenters who know what nails are for.

Well, the whole damn place was singin as I strolled right out the door

lord, they aint makin jews like jesus anymore!

No, we aint makin jews like jesus anymore,

We dont turn the other cheek the way they done before.

Well, the whole damn place was singin as I strolled right out the door

lord, they aint makin jews like jesus anymore!

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3 Comments

Filed under Current Affairs, Religion

3 responses to “They Ain’t Makin’ Jews Like Jesus Anymore

  1. conservative apikoris

    The trouble with Kinky is that he’s running gor governor, not State Jester. And given the political dynamic in Texas he can either win with redneck wite raciswt (or racist tolerating) voters (like the Republican have been doing for the past couple of decades) or he needs the minority vote, both black and Latino. (Take a trip to San Antonio or anywhere south or west., if if you’re white, you’ll be a minority. Texas is not white redneck country exclusively anymore.) Since he’s going out of his way to not distance himself from racist comments and at the same time trying to convince us he’s not a racist, I can only wonder how serious he is and what side he’s really on.

    If his intent is to be a shadow redneck and take votes from Governor “Goodhair” Perry, then Kol Hakavod to him. However the evidence is that he’s misled progressive liberal granola-crunchers (such as they exist in Texas) into supporting him, thus taking votes away from the Democrat, Mr. Bell.

    As a polician, alas, he’s a joke. As a comedian, I persoanlly think he’s a bit too uneven. I have his first album, “Sold American,” which I think is ecellent But a German compilation titled “they ain’t makin Jews like Jesus anymore” is much more uneven. Plus, in his writing, he tends to recycle his lines. Which means he can be wildly funny at times, but also repitivieand boring at others.

    No, the best things for Texans to do is vote for a good centrist Democrat like Mr. Bell, drive the Republican jokers out of office, andnot get distracted by sideshow acts.

  2. shmuel

    Shmarya,
    Seems like TopicAds by CafePress.com are still pushing Jesus gear on your site…like the lion-themed “Lion of the Tribe of Judah” to the right of this screen: in the middle is the word “Yeshua” (Jesus) in Hebrew. Please have them stop promoting that stuff on a Jewish site.

  3. It’s like google ads. There’s no way to segment out that stuff. That’s why so many JBlogs have christian ads running on them …

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