Sex and the Modern Orthodox College Student

The NY Daily News reports:

…Late on the night of Nov. 13, a Daily News reporter sat in Room 303 of Hamilton Hall, a venerable classroom building where Columbia students have studied Poe, Plato and Plutarch for nearly 100 years.

As a female student volunteer stood facing the blackboard, and 24 Columbians watched, a lecturer who identified himself only as Dov flogged her with whips, rubber hoses and a cat-o’-nine-tails.

It was consensual, but the squeals of delight mingled with occasional yelps of pain.

Columbia would make no specific comment on the club or the flogging incident. Ivy Leaguers were unaware that the reporter was in attendance. Dov is not employed by the school, which does not police or censor club activities.

Referring only to student organizations generally, spokesman Robert Hornsby said the "university has a limited role in regulating student speech or private conduct."

New York’s smartest still dream of winning a Nobel Prize. And bookworms still pull all-nighters in the Butler Library. But the 2 million-volume monument to the mind, which stays open 24 hours a day, doubles as a temple of earthier desires.

"Having sex in the stacks of Butler Library is one of the ultimate Columbia experiences," said Miriam Datskovsky, sex columnist for the Spectator, the student newspaper.

"There’s very little dating. It’s predominately a hookup scene," said the 21-year-old, a senior from an Orthodox Jewish background who writes the Sexplorations column.

"Everything is so much easier and so much quicker: you go to dinner and then have sex," she added.…

Please discuss.

[Hat Tip: Leah.]


Filed under Modern Orthodoxy

10 responses to “Sex and the Modern Orthodox College Student

  1. B”H
    Dear Shmarya!
    After reading your recent post:
    Sex and the Modern Orthodox College Student about
    S&M, nude parties rule at Columbia University
    I feel it’s even more important to publicize
    the only online service designed for observant Jews to find a pilegesh or become one.
    This service also has Ultra-Orthodox Rabbinic supervision
    from the author of an Ultr-Orthodox dayan in Yerushalaim who is also one of the commenters on your blog.
    Right now it’s free to sign up no money upfront no credit card required just a working email address and Gold level of service is provided free for 30 days with no obligation to continue.
    The site has interface in 11 languages for those who need that.
    I hope you’ll profile Pilegesh Personals on your blog and if you want you are also welcome to sign up yourself .

    PS. To quote Rabbi Yaakov Emden and others:
    It is a great mitzvah-לכן לדעתי מצוה רבה
    to publicize this permission (of Pilegesh).-לפרסם ההיתר

    Shelos Yaavetz -R.Yakov Emden. Ch.2:15-שאילת יעב”ץ ח”ב טו
    It was clarified that – דכבר נתבאר
    Pilegesh was never prohibited-
    דפלגש לא נאסרהand was never known to be prohibited…ולא נודע שקבלוה לאיסור
    only a mistaken custom which has no binding..ומנהג בטעות אינו מנהג
    And in truth a Pilegesh is permitted…ובאמת הוא מותר
    on the contrary it is a guard to the Torah-אדרבה ההפך הוא סייג לתורה
    to distance a person from sin ..-להרחיק מן העבירה ולמעט בזמה
    of nidah, shifcha, goiyah, zonah…דנדה שפחה גויה זונה
    for the unmarried-מן הבלתי נשואין
    and for married men as well-וגם הנשואין בעת
    when their wives are not available to them..שאין נשותיהן מצויות להם
    therefore the Torah permitted them-לפיכך התירתן התורה
    to the jewish man- לאיש הישראלי
    for it prohibits him znuth,niuf,-מפני שאסר לו הזנות והניאוף
    & their wives are prohibited-וגם אשתו אסורה לו
    many days of nidah ,zavah & laidah -ימים רבים של נדה ,וזבה ולידה
    therefore not for nought-לפיכך לא לחינם
    has the Torah permitted them… תורה התירתן
    and so are many Ashkenazi customs-וכן הרבה ממנהגי אשכנז
    if only they never would have existed-הלואי שלא היו
    nor were created in this land,-ולא נבראו
    for their outcome lead-דנפקי מינייהו חורבא ותקלות גדולות
    to great obstacles and destruction of Torah… ועצומות בגופי אסורי תורה
    Therefore my opinion is; It is a great mitzvah-לכן לדעתי מצוה רבה
    to publicize this permission (of Pilegesh).-לפרסם ההיתר

    Bais Shmuel Shl.Arch.26:2-שו”ע בית שמואל ס’ כו ס”ק
    it may be said that it is permitted-י”ל שמותר וראיה
    and proof from the words of the Rosh-מדברי הרא”ש
    in Kesubos… בכתובות
    for it is written there – שהרי כתב שם
    that one can fulfil the mitzvah of being fruitful -דיכול לקיים פו”ר
    with a Pilegesh ..-..בפלגש

    ..but a Pilegesh-אבלפילגש
    does not need -אין צריך
    a Brochoh or Kidushin.-ברכה וקידושין

    Taz:2-ט”ז ס”ק ב
    and so is it written-וכן כתוב
    in the Responses of the Ramban-בתשובה לרמב”ן

    Rishonim ראשונים
    Ravad (Nashim Chpt.1 Hil.Eishus)- (ראב”ד (הלכות אישות פ”א
    ..But a woman who designates herself- אבל המיחדת עצמה
    to one man only -לאיש אחד
    there is no prohibition ,rather – אין בה לא מלקות ולא איסור לאו
    she is the ‘Pilegesh’ that is written of – והיא הפלגש הכתובה
    in the Torah – בתורה

    Ramban(Teshuvos 284) – רמב”ן תשובה רפ”ד
    I do not know what the doubt is – לא ידעתי במה יסתפקו בה
    for surly she is permitted – דודאי מותרת היא
    for he designated her for himself only..-..כיון שיחדה לעצמו
    and she is permitted – ומותרת
    for King David married a pilegesh – שהרי דוד נשא אותה
    and the Torah nor the Gemarah diffrentiates – ולא הוזכר בכתוב ולא בגמרא
    between a king and a common individual – הפרש בין מלך להדיוט
    and we find great ones had Pilagshim – ומצינו גדולי ישראל נושאין אותן

    Rosh Kesubos 1:12-רא”ש כתובות פ’א:יב
    If one took a Pilegesh-ואם לקח פלגש
    and fulfilled the mitzvah-וקיים
    of being fruitful- פריה ורביה
    he is not obligated with Kedushin..-..אינו מחיוב לקדש
    PPS. If you have any questions please ask.
    Pilegesh Blog Moderator blog

    Pilegesh Personals

  2. “Having sex in the stacks of Butler Library is one of the ultimate Columbia experiences,”

    I give it a big yawn. It’s the same thing at Harvard (and it’s probably been going on longer there). I remember when I started undergrad in the Boston area some 15 years ago, there was talk of a prostitution ring running out of Harvard Yard. Sex in the stacks of the library is an old Harvard tradition, like screaming out of the dorm windows (at least in Harvard Yard, I don’t know about the houses) during finals or the annual baccanalia/toga party at Dunster House (a Harvard residence hall – I knew a guy who lived there). The only difference is the school in question.

    It would seem that sexual activities of some sort has to be common at just about all colleges. At my school the library wasn’t open 24 hours a day, but someone was caiught masturbating in the stacks once when I was a Freshman. Full blown sex wouldn’t have happened at my school’s library because the stacks of the library are not as dense as at Harvard and apparently Columbia.

  3. C-G

    It’s the policy of many elite universities to have a hands-off policy in regards to free speech issues concerning student clubs and activities. This is one extreme example- I don’t think the pro- or anti-war or Divest from Israel groups are quite as tittilating, or therefore, newsworthy for the Daily News. Personally, the most surprising factoid in the DN piece was that out of an undergrad student body of 4,000, only 23 attended this umm… educational seminar.

    ps- The student programming board of Brandeis U, a school with more than a couple of Jewish students, used to center its winter “Usdan Lives” celebration around the showing of a porn flick in the main student center (way more than 23 in atttendence… ummm, I’ve been told…) followed by the dropping of joint-filled balloons from the balcony (again, umm… according to… sources). This went on for years with the administration and alumni turning a snickering blind eye. (I think the free-speaking feminist groups ultimately triumphed over the free-speaking pro-porn group, but it must’ve been a hell of a debate, y’know?).

  4. It is not sex, it is therapy ..

    “Russian scientists recommend the following course of the whipping therapy: 30 sessions of 60 whips on the buttocks in every procedure. A group of drug addicts volunteered to test the new method of treatment: the results can be described as good and excellent.

    Doctor of Biological Sciences, Sergei Speransky, is a very well known figure in Novosibirsk. The doctor became one of the authors of the shocking whipping therapy. The professor used the self-flagellation method to cure his own depression; he also recovered from two heart attacks with the help of physical tortures too.

    ”The whipping therapy becomes much more efficient when a patients receives the punishment from a person of the opposite sex. The effect is astounding: the patient starts seeing only bright colors in the surrounding world, the heartache disappears, although it will take a certain time for the buttocks to heal, of course,” Sergei Speransky told the Izvestia newspaper. “

  5. As for Miriam: her father is an Orthodox Jew, her mother’s family is Jewish, but less observant. From what I understand she is unaffiliated. Not sure why the Spec felt the need to include that tidbit.

  6. shmuel

    Never thought I would regret being rejected from Columbia…

  7. Anonymous

    A woman would have to be pretty dumb to become a pilegesh. I think would be a better name

  8. Last I saw, there were two men (one in Russia) and NO women signed up for this

    Typical, wouldn’t you say?

  9. Isa

    “”A woman would have to be pretty dumb to become a pilegesh””
    Consider this, substitute a Pilegesh ‘agreement’for a Ketuba What do you get? a pernament arrangment BUT now in case of divorce (secular type) the woman is not an aguna as no Get is required.

  10. B”H
    1)Treifalicious more people have signed up since that time mostly men from Brooklyn but also a woman .
    2)Good point Isa.

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