Steve Martin: 72 Virgins

Steve Martin writes about Islam’s 72 virgins in this week’s New Yorker:

Virgin No. 1: Yuck.
Virgin No. 2: Ick.
Virgin No. 3: Ew.
Virgin No. 4: Ow.…
Virgin No. 7: Here, I’ll just pull down your zipper. Oh, sorry!…
Virgin No. 10: . . . so I see Heath, and he goes, “Like, what are you doing here?,” and I go, “I’m hangin’ out,” so he goes, “Like, what?” . . .
Virgin No. 14: I’m eighty-four. So what?…
Virgin No. 16: Even I know that’s tiny.…
Virgin No. 24: Would you mind saying, “Could I see you in my office, Miss Witherspoon?”?…
Virgin No. 40: I’m Jewish. Why do you ask?…
Virgin No. 51: What do you mean, “move a little”?
Virgin No. 52: Not now, I’m on my BlackBerry.…
Virgin No. 54: We’ve been together twenty-four hours now, and, you know, sometimes it’s O.K. to say something mildly humorous.…
Virgin No. 66: We could do it here for free, or on a stage in Düsseldorf for money.…

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